It is Saturday, Mummy is cleaning the kitchen, mopping the floor and putting the rubbish out, so I am free to go into the garden and cat spot from my favourite cat spotting spot, under the tree. The cat sits in the branches of the tree. It stares at me,(down - as cats always do) I stares back at it (up, as Grace Puppys do). I whine at it. It stares back. I bark at it. It stares back. I bounce at it. It stares back. But, sometimes, it moves! I do Grace puppy nutty whiny barky whine bark! Now that gets Katie Whippet, proper army job, deployed. She only comes if it is serious cat invasion in inevitable.
So, I am watching the tree, there isn't actually a cat in it, but you cannot be too careful. Unknown to me, Katie has come into the kitchen, and also unknown to me, Katie Whippet, sneaky little whippetty bum, is being hand fed the chicken off the chicken wings that mummy used to make my chicken water with last night! I mean, HOW RUDE!
Anyway, I starts barking, Help, serious cat invasion! Help, there is a cat in next doors garden! Serious cat invasion! Cat in next doors Garden! Calling Katie Whippet, Calling Katie Whippet! Katie comes winging her way down the garden, full whippet pelt, (quite a sight! ) - despite chicken in the kitchen - I was impressed! 'Where are the Bl**dy cats then?' Ooo, not sure, there was one, it must have gone! 'Huh, likely story, you just wanted to see me run!' Unimpressed Katie, trots back to the chicken, that, I still don't know about!
Oh, but, it is there, behind next doors shed! Katie, it is still there! Calling Katie Whippet, Calling Katie Whippet! It is still there! Behind next doors shed! Help, Cat invasion, Cat invasion! Nothing.... so, try again! Calling Katie Whippet, Calling Katie Whippet..... Still nothing..... Cat saunters off, behind the shed.
Then Mummy 'Ouch, you little bitch, don't snatch'
Hang on a minute, who is snatching what? Trot up garden. Oh, I see, this is why you did not come! Chicken eh? Hand fed chicken pieces eh? Oh, you have just nipped mummy! HeHeHe...... Serves you both right! Sneaky pair of........
Anyway Katie, there was a cat behind the shed, and I saw it and you did not! *Smugg Grace Puppy*
 |
| The cat in the tree |
Katie Whippet
OK, hang on a minute - Now you have read, Madam Mutts, perfect account of cat spotting, and think she is in the right - Well, I have you know, I was going through mental torture in the kitchen....
Mummy always has to close the living room door to stop the felines escaping - because Yazz cat is neurotic (what ever that means), and Thomas Kitten has never been outside before.
So, if she has let Grace Mutt out into the garden, I am usually on the sofa, protecting it from passing sofa thieves, who just might try to steal it!
But today, I thought I would have a nose around the garden too - so stood and stared at the closed living room door. Mummy, being telepathic to Katie Whippet thoughts, opened the door, and let me into the kitchen.
Last night, Mummy had made some chicken water for Grace, who always says she has a poorly tummy, but, she still noshes on treats like no tomorrow, and never has any side effects - yet when it comes to meals, she is a fussy little Mutty Madam!
Anyway, the sideline from chicken water is chicken - no flies on me mate! Mummy had picked the meat off the bones, and given it to the cats - I mean, HOW RUDE! Her logic being, it was a meal for the Moggies, but only a mouthful for us.
Anyway, Yesterday evening, Thomas ate quite a lot of the chicken, but then stood there, and went, 'Well, I am stuffed', and wondered off, Yazz came, sniffed chicken, licked chicken, left chicken - and went to eat cat kibble! Eh? #special
So Mummy put the remaining chicken in the fridge! This morning, she took it out, and was going to give it to Thomas - when I stood there, and caught her eye, with my cute pointy face, and gave her that look, that melts humans.... It worked!
Mummy started hand feeding me bits of chicken - RESULT! BING BONG! And, not a Mutty Grace Puppy anywhere to be seen!
But, Oh, no, what is that! Grace Puppy has spotted a cat! Oh, no, serious cat invasion! Serious cat invasion! No!
I am going to have to check this out - otherwise I am not doing my canine duty to society.
Full pelt down the garden - Emergency stop. 'Where are the Bl**dy cats then?' I ask, because it is not obvious. 'Ooo, not sure, there was one, it must have gone!' Grace says..... 'Huh, likely story, you just wanted to see me run!' NOT IMPRESSED!
Trot back to CHICKEN kitchen.... Hope mummy has not decided to give it to the cats!
Ooo, no, it is OK, mummy is laughing, saying she is impressed I chose to help Grace than stay with chicken!
Mmmm, mummy, I am not doing that again - now where is that chicken? You haven't given it to the cats have you? Oh, it is still there, phew!
But, Oh, no, Grace has started yowling again! Oh, no! A whippets brain cannot cope with this - Duty to canine society or chicken. Cats or chicken? Cat - Chicken.....Whooops - I've nipped mummys finger!!! OH NO! I am not a bitch, I am KATIE WHIPPET! OOOooo sorry Mummy! Give me some more! Ooo, Grace is still yowling - Ooo, I have done it again!!! Sorry mummy! Sorry!
Oh, no, Mummy! Why did you have to say anything - Grace has come back - Obviously not a serious cat invasion then! Oh, she is going to get some now! Not much left, Phew! She won't snatch! Why is she a good girl?
Humans........
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